Oh how I love having a nice long cold one while I watch the best of college basketball on a huge flatscreen home theater-type television. That nicely done crispy pata and the fresh oysters weren’t too bad either. When you can have all of this I cannot help but shake my head and wonder what on earth ever possesses otherwise level-headed, responsible and reasonable people to do everything short of signing over their families’ souls to the devil just to get tickets for the so-called “can’t miss” games.

“Pare naman, siempre iba pa rin ‘yung nandun ka,” says my publisher. And this ridiculous line is repeated in exactly the same or in various iterations all throughout this basketball-addicted Metropolis. What arrant nonsense. At the risk of alienating the teeming millions who read this column may I just say that any one who would do things such as camp out at the box office the night before, buy from scalpers at a hundred or two hundred times the price, simply because “iba pa rin ‘yung nandun ka” seriously need to get into therapy.

I had one scalper come up to me a couple of days before the big weekend trying to push a bad seat ticket to me for a cool grand - a GRAND for Godsakes! With the salary I get from this outfit I’d have to go a couple days without luxuries like say food and water just to buy that blasted ticket. Even then I would have to share seat space with a whole section of folks who scream, yell, curse and altogether just plain go nuts, totally ruining my game experience. Ask around and I’d bet nine out of ten of these shrieking knuckleheads wouldn’t know the difference between a sweet roll and a pick and roll.

On the other hand I could take say five hundred bucks, go to any of the bars around the stadium, have a few beers, good munchies, smoke and be seated comfortably in climate controlled comfort and STILL WATCH THE SAME GAME. Maybe it’s just me, but the way I see it that is simply a no-brainer. If my team lost at least I’m already drinking. If my guys won then that makes the celebration so much sweeter.

Even if I could afford to pay the scalper prices I’d rather put the money to better use - like say getting a couple hitmen to put as many of the damn scalpers out of life’s miserable grip as possible, still a better bottom line than paying for a scalped ticket if you ask me. And I could still skip over to a bar and watch my beloved game in good comfort. I guess I just do not see the whole point of going through so damn much trouble to get into a stadium for a game you can watch perfectly well on TV.

I look forward to all of the other games this season throughout all the leagues and tournaments. I look forward especially to the Sweet 16 of the Philippine Collegiate Champions League, where we will truly catch the best teams from all over the country slugging it out to see who the best really is. Most of all I look forward to catching all of the action in the comfort of a clean, well-lit, cool place serving San Miguel’s fine Pale Pilsen. With crispy pata and oysters if you please.